Shattered Ego
The lie of my own importance
"Ego is the enemy—giving us wicked feedback, disconnected from reality. It blocks us from improving by telling us that we don't need to improve." — Ryan Holiday
Ego is like a broken mirror; I can keep looking into it for the reflection I want to see—but the cracks (pride, arrogance) remain.
I carry stress like anyone else.
The best way I can describe it is this:
A glass of water doesn’t feel heavy at first.
But the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.
Hold it for a minute—nothing.
Hold it for an hour—my arm starts to ache.
Hold it all day—and I lose the ability to carry anything else.
The weight didn’t change.
The time did.
That’s what my ego does.
I can believe my ideas are great but what happens when no one else does?
Do I release it… or do I keep holding it?
Because when I carry the belief that I’ve got it all figured out
that I’m the best, that I answer to no one,
that I can succeed without accountability.
I start filling myself with something dangerous:
Entitlement.
False power.
The illusion of importance.
And the quiet pressure to prove it all the time.
The longer I hold onto that… the heavier it gets.
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” — Proverbs 16:18
It becomes easy to hide behind phrases like:
“Just believe in yourself.”
“Stay positive.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
But sometimes that reason… was me.
Something I did.
Something I didn’t do.
Something I avoided.
And instead of owning it, I shift the blame
onto people, onto circumstances, onto anything but myself.
Because there’s a point it reaches…
Where it’s not just pressure anymore.
It turns into frustration.
Then anger.
Then something darker.
Because when I realize I’m losing control
when things aren’t working,
when I can’t force the outcome.
There’s something in me that would rather burn it all down
than admit I was never in control to begin with.
Like a fire looking for oxygen…
like a dragon that would rather leave nothing but ash
than face surrender.
That’s not strength.
That’s ego… cornered.
The truth is… I was never meant to carry that weight alone.
I am not the source of my own strength.
I am not the architect of my own worth.
And I am not sustained by my own power.
Because when I rely on myself, eventually—I break.
But Christ doesn’t.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
It is His strength I draw from.
His example that gives me direction.
His will—not mine—that leads me where I need to go.
And that life? It’s not easy.
You don’t get an easy life and strong character at the same time.
“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”?
Not always.
Sometimes it just exposes how weak I really am on my own.
And that’s the point.
God will allow more into my life than I can handle—
not so I can prove myself…
…but so I stop trying to.
So I stop building a version of me
and start becoming the man He is refining me to be.
