The Applause of My Captivity
“You only live as much as you allow yourself to be free.”
You’re not dead.
But you have been restricted.
I’m not dead either.
But I have been restricted.
Restricted by fear.
Restricted by shame.
Restricted by reputation.
Restricted by old narratives I never challenged.
I can breathe and still not live.
I can work and still not live.
I can attend church and still not live.
Living begins where I stop waiting for permission.
Freedom isn’t recklessness.
It’s alignment.
It’s when I stop living under the weight of:
• who I used to be
• who others expect me to be
• who my shame says I am
And start living as who God actually calls me to be.
At different seasons, I’ve been imprisoned —
sometimes by sin,
sometimes by success,
sometimes by busyness,
sometimes by the approval of others.
My chains don’t always rattle.
Sometimes they applaud. Clapping wildly at my defeat.
The question isn’t, “Am I alive?”
The question is: Where am I still not free?
Because that’s the boundary of my impact.
That’s the ceiling on my leadership.
That’s the limit of my joy.
Freedom requires surrender.
And surrender feels like loss — until it becomes life.
A warrior who refuses to be free will fight small battles his whole life.
A warrior who embraces freedom fights the right ones.
Not every battle or challenge that comes in front of me is something I need to fight.
I can’t prove anything to anybody if I can’t prove anything to myself.
And that’s the razor’s edge, isn’t it?
Self. “I need to do what’s right for me.”
And yeah — I do.
But I need to view that through the lens of doing what’s right for God, because that is what is right for me.
Because if I spend my life in performative action, trying to prove my worth — trying to validate my value for some type of approval — then I have totally missed what God’s purpose is in my life.
I only live as much as I allow myself to be free.
Galatians 5:1
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
John 8:36
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
