Two Cents
When the Price Outweighs the Value
Sometimes speaking is useful.
Sometimes speaking is courageous.
And sometimes — I should keep my thoughts to myself.
As I have journeyed through this Forge of mine, I find myself brought to a thought today through feelings of doubt, inadequacy, insecurity, and self-importance.
I wonder if what I am doing is really worth anything, or if it’s just me working through some stuff.
Is what I’m saying resonating with others, or am I simply venting and processing things for myself?
Should I keep doing this — or just shut up already?
When I prayed about this, the following began to take shape for me:
There are moments when silence becomes avoidance, fear, or even complicity. Scripture never calls us to become passive men who refuse to speak because keeping the peace is easier than telling the truth.
But there are also moments when what I have to say may be completely accurate—and still have no business coming out of my mouth.
That distinction matters.
Because one of the easiest traps to fall into after gaining clarity is believing that clarity automatically gives me the responsibility to announce everything I see.
It doesn’t.
There is something intoxicating about discovery, especially when it says that maybe I wasn’t wrong after all. Something changes when the facts finally catch up with what I had been saying, feeling, or warning about.
Suddenly, I have evidence — I have ammunition.
Suddenly, there is an almost irresistible temptation to cash in my two cents.
See? I told you! Now do you understand what I was trying to say?!
And that is where I have to ask a better question:
What is this going to cost?
Because my two cents may actually be correct and still not be worth what it costs to spend them.
It might cost someone dignity. It might cost trust.
It might cost peace.
It might derail a lesson that God was already teaching without my assistance.
It might turn a meaningful conversation into an argument.
And sometimes it costs me something…because the moment I need everyone to hear what I know, I may have crossed from discernment into pride.
Scripture warns us:
“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” — Proverbs 10:19
Restraint isn’t weakness.
Sometimes restraint is evidence that I no longer need the room to know that I’m right.
That can be especially difficult when someone else has behaved pridefully, selfishly, arrogantly, or self-righteously. I may see it clearly. I may even be completely correct about it.
But I have to be very careful that while identifying pride in another person, I don’t become prideful myself.
That while condemning self-righteousness, I don’t become self-righteous.
That while confronting someone for diminishing others, I don’t diminish them in return.
Because if I have to diminish someone else to demonstrate how right I was, vindication hasn’t freed me. It has simply given my pride new material to work with.
That isn’t growth.
That’s just switching seats.
Yesterday, I was the one who felt misunderstood, overlooked, or accused.
Today, the evidence has changed, and now I have the opportunity to become the prosecutor.
Different chair.
Same courtroom.
And sometimes the healthiest thing I can do is walk out of the courtroom altogether.
Again, Scripture gives us a simple instruction that is much harder to practice than it sounds:
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” — James 1:19
Not afraid to speak.
Not unwilling to speak.
Slow enough to ask God what is actually driving the words.
Will they clarify something that needs clarification?
Will they protect someone who needs protection?
Will they encourage growth?
Or am I simply enjoying the opportunity to finally demonstrate that I was right?
Those motives can hide behind identical words.
Externally, correction and self-righteousness can sound remarkably similar.
The difference may exist entirely within the heart of the person speaking.
That is why Paul’s instruction is so precise:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” — Ephesians 4:29
Maybe maturity is becoming secure enough to realize that not everything I know requires my commentary.
There will still be times when courage demands that I speak.
There will be times when love demands confrontation.
There will be times when truth needs to be defended.
But there will also be times when God is doing something in another person that doesn’t require my analysis, commentary, correction, or closing argument.
And in those moments, perhaps the most valuable contribution I can make is to keep my mouth shut and my two cents to myself.
